Emotional Stress and Tinnitus
I have talked about the connection between tinnitus and stress a lot.
We all know that handling tinnitus is more than a handful – when stressed it sometimes even feels impossible. It flares up and makes it seem like something that can´t be conquered while life is going on.
Often is it not the stress that is put on us by others like a boss who gives us a ton of work or your children fighting constantly, but our own mind. Our mind can create stress.
When you feel stressed due to outside factors keep reading here: https://www.thetinnituslife.com/2018/11/25/relief-stress-relief-tinnitus/
But when you know how to manage our outside stressors but you feel like you can´t manage the thoughts in your head – and that is what is stressing you, then you are just like me!
Is it hard for you to let others do something for you or even share tasks?
No matter where, at work, at home – family of friends. You think it is best to do it yourself as nobody will end up doing it exactly as you want. It won´t the exact outcome you were looking for and are not flexible about it?
But doing everything on your own is just a not manageable task.
Do you even resent people a little for not doing it as you think it would be best?
Do you feel like nobody really cares about you and you have to do everything on your own?
Then we you are at it, it has to be exactly as you planed it out in your head. And you keep going until it is an exact replicate of the blueprint in your head or you get super frustrated?
You are getting up and even before you are getting out of bed you see that it is raining, ruining your plans for the day. Of course, you already expected that. Then you go into the bathroom and the toilet paper is empty, again. It is always you who does that stuff as no one else in the house sees what has to be done.
The day goes on and on like that. But did you even notice, that it was absolutely necessary to rain as the ground has been super dry. Plus, you were in the need of a break – finally getting it that day. But you didn´t realize that until a few days later.
You are at work and then suddenly your thoughts drift off…a picture from the past pops into your mind. Why did you say that? Why did you do that and not something else? I try to analyze the situation and end up getting super angry at yourself for having chosen the wrong path back then. This is not the first time that happens.
You are getting home, your partner is there already looking at you: “Is that how you went to work today.” Then you meet up with your friends, one of them says: “You haven´t been in touch lately.” Small comments like that or critic makes you want to flip out right away?
There is this colleague at work who is super nice to all the others, but you feel like not to you. You think she doesn´t like you. So you try to do everything to make her like you.
Do some of these scenarios sound familiar?
Do you want everything to be just like imagined it, perfect. Do you tend to perceive everything rather negative? Do you have a lot of resentment revolving around your past? Does the smallest comment or critic trigger you? Do you want everybody to like you?
Those are all things that put a lot of stress on us.
Of course there are so many techniques to relieve stress and to not feel tense anymore.
But those topics come up again and again.
As these are often old patterns or emotional topics that were formed so many years ago – the best we to get rid of them is to face them. To dive in and to resolve them. We can manage stress, but if the stress doesn´t have an outside source such as workload or managing time, if it is rather out own emotions that create the stressful situation – managing stress doesn´t really work. It is more about working on our emotions.
There are a few ways to do that. Often it is not necessary to go back to find out why you picked up the pattern of always wanting to be loved by everybody. Or why the tiniest word of criticism makes you crazy.
How can we work on ourselves to stop get stressed out over little things?
I think I can´t emphasize how much meditation has helped me.
It makes the mind calm down.
Not just during the meditation, but if you meditate regularly it is rather something that makes you calmer in general. Emotional triggers decrease and you get a sense of general happiness. It helps to not feel stressed so quickly and to even reduce stress related symptoms.
There are different studies about it, for example on the US National Library of Medicine is one that shows that meditation lives up to its reputation for stress reduction.
Do you know where that is coming from? Why do certain situations trigger the same response over and over again?
Is one of your inner believes that nothing really works out right, that when you are not doing it on your own? Often it has to do with trust. Or acknowledging the expertise of others…or is it about such strong vision you have about something that you don´t want it any other way?
Find your beliefs behind your triggers and your emotional stress and then turn it around with affirmations.
Yes, a lot in my life has changed since I use affirmations.
I for example would then in the situation above use those kind of affirmations:
I trust myself and I trust others. I let go of control.
Others are capable to get the things done I need. They are a great help and I appreciate it.
I am flexible with the outcome of things. My way is not the only right path.
These are basically sentences you tell yourself over and over again to change you believes. Of course you also need to put your energy in it and believe in it – at least after a while. When you tell yourself affirmations over and over again but think: That is crap. Then it won´t really work. But I started witht he famous saying – fake it until you make it.
Read more about affirmations here: https://www.thetinnituslife.com/2017/09/22/you-can-influence-your-tinnitus-with-your-mind/
Another way is to just change your behavior.
This needs a lot of mindfulness in your behavior – for me this is the hardest one.
If one of the situations that triggers stress presents itself, observe the feeling that is coming and up and how you want to react and THEN decide mindfully to react differently. Decide to react differently, in a way that doesn´t cause stress. In a way that you feel better.
Of course then we need to make sure that we are able to observe exactly what is happening and observe our emotions carefully. Makings sure revenge isn´t part of it. So we are reacting in a way it feels good and helps us relief stress.
For example I have started not to clean up after others, I am trying to be more flexible about it if someone doesn´t put things back exactly how I want it and accept that there are different ways to do that.
For me it is the hardest path as I am not every day in the position to react like that.
Often those inner beliefs that lead to our behavior and experienced stress go way back. They were implemented into our mind when we were children.
It is often related to experiences we had back then and now when we found ourselves in a similar situation we our emotions are like 4 years old again and want to react like that. That can put a lot of stress into our adult life.
So it is also a good idea to work with our inner child to dissolve those kind of beliefs.
I love working with my inner child and I find it in a lot of situations in the present.
Read more about it here: https://www.thetinnituslife.com/2019/01/01/healing-your-inner-child-for-tinnitus-relief/
I hope how you can see, that even the stress we put on ourselves can be handled. Once the stress is taken out you will see that the tinnitus will get a little calmer also. Of course tinnitus reacts to a lot of different factors but it is always good to take out one by one.
Stress is just such a big factor and I think it is so important to also work on the inner stressors as those tend to be in our head always.
I´m not sure about you, but my tinnitus reacts even to thoughts. So when I am thinking too hard about that… it gets also triggered.