Healing Tinnitus – Agreements That Help
I am sure most of you have noticed that our tinnitus is super sensitive – it reacts to everything. On outside circumstances like weather, relationship changes, stressors…and then your overall health status, nutrition and your own personal triggers.
So life often seems like a minefield and we have to find our way through it without setting of yet another trigger. That kind of view makes life exhausting . . . puts a lot more stress upon us than necessary.
As so often it is our perception that can change that kind of feeling – so see life as beautiful as it is and to be able to let go of restrictions and see them as opportunities for growth and personal development.
I just listened to the audio book “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz. It is A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. And who doesn´t want personal freedom, especially if you feel so limited by your condition, right?!
It is a Toltec Wisdom Book as Ruiz says, as it is based on the Toltec tradition coming from ancient Mexican.
He says that from a young age on we start to “agree” with what we are told by our parents or other intuitions. He calls the process domestication – just like with animals, right? But that is basically what happens. We get conditioned, because we get punished if we don´t do want our parents want us to do or we receive praise and get rewarded if we act like our caretakers want us to act.
“The impact of other people’s opinions and reactions to us became a very strong force in the habits we created. In this process we created agreements in our mind of who we should be, what we shouldn’t be, who we were, and who we were not.”
But we can make our own agreements – to get personal freedom! Of course it is not easy as we often are not even aware of the agreements we took on in the past. So it is good to observe ourselves to find out what kind of believes are deep within us and to what kind of assumptions they lead us all day long.
There are four agreements to free us from the old ones and to be our true self.
Those four agreements are:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
Be impreccable with your word
“Be Impeccable with your word: speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
– Don Miguel Ruiz
Meaning we stop negative self-talk and don´t talk ourselves into feeling guilty or shameful. The same goes for others, we don´t blame nor criticize others and don´t gossip. It also means that we stick to our word – we do what we say and we only say what we really want to do or are really going to do.
Don’t take anything personally.
“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
― Don Miguel Ruiz
This agreement is about the effect others have on us. We get sad or upset how others talk to us or even about what we think they mean and the way they react or say something.
But in fact others see the world through their own experiences and with the background of their own unique experiences – so they see the world in a unique way also.
Their way of something has nothing to do with us. We might be a trigger for them, but that is not our fault but happens due to their own life experience and background.
This is liberating – makes us free of feeling guilty and wondering about our effect on others. Everything that is liberating for me – is liberating for my tinnitus.
Don’t make assumptions.
“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don’t understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”
― Don Miguel Ruiz
Haven´t you often tried to analyze what someone “really means”? You speculated with a friend about what the words of that person could mean and what this person was up to.
The thing is – we can´t. We can´t get into anther persons mind and know what is going on there. So we´ll never be able to tell – all we do is making assumptions.
Assumptions lead to misunderstanding – we are putting words in someone´s mouth without confirming or checking the other persons reality.
Many problems can be avoided if we just communicated openly instead of assuming what is going on. Even if we know the other person well, we can´t read his or her mind!
Assuming things has lead me to many worries and vicious cycles – it´s time to stop that and the additional stress we put on ourselves by doing that.
Always do your best.
“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”
– Don Miguel Ruiz
Of course we need to do our best to get somewhere – to realize our goals and dreams. But it is also about silencing the criticism from your inner judge. Your own judgment. So it is also about doing enough to feel good about what you are doing. At the same time though it is important to not overdo it.
Pushing yourself too hard can cause pain, injury, and mistakes. That means we have to recognize that our own unique best will vary from moment to moment and that in a way you are always doing your best. Realize this, and your inner judgment can be silenced permanently.
Of course it is not easy to just put these four agreements into practice – it is hard work on continuous work on yourself. But it is worth it! You´ll feel better with yourself. And feeling better with yourself – makes the minefield already less full with mines.
How to do that? What kind of work on yourself you ask?
“All of these old agreements which rule our dream of life are the result of repeating them over and over again.” Don Miguel Ruiz
“Therefore, to adopt the Four Agreements, you need to put repetition into action. Practicing the new agreements in your life is how your best becomes better. Repetition makes the master.” Don Miguel Ruiz